First of all, let's talk about this PostSecret that I saw during a recent stroll through Sunday's secrets:
I feel like I am perpetually going through phases of my life where certain music or visuals fit that specific time, and this embodies how I feel at this particular period of time in my life. I have never felt simultaneously so free and so terrified, so unsure and so confident in my whole life. I feel like I have completely gone off the grid for whatever I assumed my life-plan would be. I'm in unfamiliar territory and it's so strange and scary and wonderful. My life feels like a blank page. And there is nothing more beautiful in the whole world than a blank page.
Second of all, let's talk about boys. As supes real as I would love to actually be, I have to keep myself to myself just a little bit in this regard. I managed to get myself into quite a bit of trouble lately with posting things on the interwebs that have been offensive to or misconstrued by others. But, I'm going to do my best.
I've started dating lately. Quite a bit, actually. I jumped head-first into the world of online courtship and it has been a fascinating study on human interaction and expectations. People are so interesting. So much so, apparently, that I drunkenly decided that this needed to be written loud and proud in my sketchbook:
So, let me tell you about this dazzling soul that I have sort of been seeing on the regz. His name is Elvis. Can I hit you with some of Elvis' highlights? Cause I'm going to:
-The very first time I met Elvis, he gave me a National Geographic Encyclopedia on Space to check out and Croatian dark chocolate. He is the first guy that I've been out with that brought me something on the first date.
-He's an excellent maker-outer.
-Elvis is originally from Croatia. He speaks Croatian and German. He had a deep, soothing, sultry, crooner kind of voice that makes me melt.
-He is a vegetarian and he cooks. On our second meeting, he made me split-pea soup because I was sick. It was divine; mostly because it was delicious, but also because it was so thoughtful my heart almost exploded.
-One of the nights that we hung out, we walked the Atlanta BeltLine near my house. There is a playground along the way that we stopped by to swing and play and talk. I asked him about all of his past relationships and he divulged everything I wanted to know. He is bisexual and dated a dude in high school. I don't know why, but I find that unusually intriguing and bewilderingly sexy.
-We talk about art and music and life and philosophy and thought and the human experience. Sometimes we spread out in my living room and draw.
-He has a near perfect balance of sweetness and vulgarity. He says things like, "Your kisses are intoxicating." He also says things like, "The only thing I'm ambidextrous at is jacking off."
-Let's just say we have...ahem...sublime chemistry.
-When I talk about things I want to do in the future, he uses "we" terms. "Between the two of us, we could make that happen," or "We should do that." That makes me smile.
Elvis has a whole lot to offer. There is much that I like about him. But, like most things, there are cons. He is five years younger than me. Sometimes I catch glimpses of just how much of a difference there is in our maturity levels and it's disconcerting. He is also job-less, car-less, money-less, and lives at home with his mother. This is a huge complication, as well as being kind of a turn off. There is only so much you can do for free, and I hate spending so much in gas to go get him and take him home all of the time. I'd like to be taken out every now and again, ya know?
